A Dog’s Life

Charlie’s top tips on how to live your best life aboard Miller Time:

#1 perfect your napping skills

It is paramount to know where the best places/positions are for random or day long napping. Whether the boat is underway in heavy seas, idly floating at anchor or rolling with waves on a mooring ball, you need to know how to chill. I have found that proximity to my people is helpful. My nap spots tend to be on/near them or at least where I can see them. Oh, and when they are away from the boat (if for SOME CRAZY reason they decided to not include you in their adventure), be sure to be found napping in their favorite chair the entire time so when they return, they feel guilty.

#2 resist the piddle pad

Even though you are trained and have successfully used the piddle pad (the patch of artificial grass upon which I am expected to relieve myself when we are not able to get to shore), try to not parktake in such matters. I have found that if you refuse to use the piddle patch, they will eventually take you on a fun dinghy ride to a nice beach twice a day! (note: your people will deal with your poop, but whatever you do, don’t dig anywhere you see them digging. They are not playing hide the poop for fun, learned that one the hard way. You are welcome)

#3 protect your boat

This is perhaps the most challenging of all boat life chores. Find a good place to keep tabs on all the things that move(boats/people/airplane/wind/waves) and be sure to bark and give chase when possible. I have found the best place for this is on the swim platform…from here you get unobstructed views, lots of fresh air and you can make sure the dinghy does not go anywhere without you.

#4 fish alert

When your people have sticks, with lines and frilly things on them, dragging behind the boat, they get really excited when there is a whirring noise…so when you hear it, be sure to bark and run around like a nut so they know to go see what is going on. Be careful because sometimes this results in a big floppy thing coming onto the boat deck and your owners yelling at you to stay away, even though you only want to smell it.

#5 paddle boarding

This is one of my favorite things to do with my dad, but there are rules. Always hurry and get on as soon as you see the board in the water, in case they were thinking of not inviting you. Find the spot close to the middle of the board, or the edge, actually lay down wherever you want…your people will figure out how to keep you balanced and thank you later for the core exercise.(maybe) Be sure to relax…I can attest to the fact that they will NOT want your help paddling and they don’t want you chasing fish or birds either. I guess there is such a thing as too much excitement.

#6 dinghy rides are LIFE

Getting the command “board” and getting to go in the dinghy means you get to stay with your people!  A dinghy ride means you will go to a beach, on a hike or even on another boat…So NEVER miss a chance to get in the dinghy, even if they don’t plan on you joining them.   While underway, the dinghy bow is the best spot for great views and smells…but sometimes you have to share it with your people.  I recently learned a new game which I recommend, “bubble wave eating”.  When the dinghy is going fast there are lots of bubbles on top of the waves it makes….so be sure to lean waaaaayyy over the side and bite them.   You may need to bark while you do it, but be careful, those “bubble waves”  can slap you in the face sometimes.  Also, falling in is a concern so be sure your people are holding onto your harness while you ignore them telling you to stop.  GREAT FUN!  When the dinghy gets near shore, try to be the first one off.  This is important…not sure why, but trust me, being the first off is fun.  It is imperative to be sure you DO NOT jump too soon, or you will be swimming to shore.  I listen for the sound of my people raising the dinghy engine, then wiggle myself up over the edge and get perched for my dismount.

#7 pills

If like me, you need to take some pills for your health, here are my techniques.  If they wrap it in a yummy substance, turn your head as if they are offering you poison.  When you hear them getting the pill from the container, quickly lay down and roll on your back.  This makes it more challenging when they pry your mouth open to jab it down your throat.  If they catch you still sitting up, and proceed to place the pill down your throat, use your tongue like a world fencing champion and make them work to get the pill past it. Follow either of these techniques up with a downcast look and they will give you a treat so you will stop being pitiful.

#8 spa day

After beach time, expect to be stopped at the swim platform for a rinse down (sometimes with shampoo even).  Dad will towel dry you, this is the important part.  Be sure to sit like a good boy and he will wrap you like little red riding hood, look into your eyes and say nice things to you while he rubs your paws and tummy with the towel. You may be tempted to take the towel and play with it, but he won’t appreciate that at all.  Eventually you will need to endure “the clippers”.  I am not a fan, but I have found giving in to the event is better for all involved.  Sometimes it is easier to just sit like a good boy while he trims my hair and nails, but sometimes it is fun to let yourself go limp, so they must work a bit harder. Note: anytime they ask you if you want to go for a walk or get a bath lay down and roll over, they love it.

#9 bedtime

 I have a comfy spot in the galley and dad gives me a cookie every night…but if you ever want to have some snuggle time and sleep with your people…be sure to bark loudly and frequently…if you add a little whimper dad will come get you sooner (mom rarely comes to get you).

#10 life’s a beach

Beaches are where you get your wiggles out.  Run as fast, far and frequently as possible when on a beach.  Be sure to randomly dig for no reason, preferably right near your people just after they applied sun lotion.  Also, if they lay down a towel, that is your cue to go sit on it and get it ready for them by scrunching it up and filling it with sand.  My breeder said I was a Portuguese waterdog, but my people feel certain I am actually a Portuguese beach dog or wader dog.  After all that hard work, don’t forget to rest…just be sure you lay down as close to your people as possible at all times.

I’ve heard folks ask my people if I like being a boat dog.  If I could answer, I would certainly say “YES”…but not because I like the boat.  I mean, the boat is nice, but I also REALLY like my big porch back home.  What I DO like, actually LOVE, about being a boat dog is being with my people. 

My advice for living your best life anywhere:  

Make sure you are with your people.  Find the people who love you, the people who care for you, the people who will deal with the poopy times and the tail wagging good times.  Find the people you want to adventure with and make them your pack!